
M2M2M Trip (22)
May 13, 2008TWENTY-TWO
ONION SESSION:
UNNECESSARY SURGERY ON HIS FOOT AS A BOY. PAIN. FEAR. FEAR OF HIS FATHER WHO BELIEVED IN TEXAS JUSTICE. SHIPPED OFF TO A BAD SCHOOL TOO EARLY FOR BEING TOO SMART. WALKED THROUGH A BULL FIELD TO HIS NEXT SCHOOL. Dad had a bad childhood. The family onion is unpeeling. Nanny was the greatest grandmother ever and my favorite person throughout our time together…and she was a disinterested parent and wife before that. Poppa had a live-in girlfriend before he died when Dad was only a boy. Dad had a bad childhood and his young adult years were so clouded. My poor half-brothers had a rough time of it after being born to a boy, not a man. Especially Miles. Dad’s second son was born to a hard-drinking, self-loathing beauty. She was Dad’s second wife, yet Dad was still basically a boy. Miles’ life has been a tragi-series of bad event after bad event, and he is Arkansas to the bone and too damn smart for his simply dumb life. Near toothless and too stoned and mostly alone, after his lady friend had a stroke related to an accident at the chicken plant where they both worked. I cry and blame Dad, in a way, and take up for Miles in a big way and say: “IT IS NOT HIS FAULT!”
Dad and I talk a lot of the things between us out. My problems. His problems. Our problems.
I don’t see too much that I like about Arkansas. I liked Emmitt, but he is from Iowa, not The Natural State. Maybe if it was light out I would see more of the natural beauty and appreciate that.
Then we hit Mountain Home, and I do like it. We have a stop to eat, and I have a few cocktails, and the onion does not sting my eyes as badly as it did in the car. I see some girls that are kinda cute. The tourney is on.
I miss my sons and my ex-wife and love Dad’s “new” woman, Dale. I feel like Dad has the right partner: they need each other, which is point blank never the best reason for any relationship. But I just adore her and trust her and somehow know she is the right woman. Dale is awesome.
I miss my sons and pray for them. I pray for my whole crazy family. I pray for my sons again and their mom. I miss my Nanny. These cheese fries are pretty good. Texas A&M is playing UCLA. My Dad’s dad, Poppa, went to A&M, Gig ‘em, Aggies. I applied for a job at UCLA and hung out there a few times and love powder blue. I pray for my Dad. I am shaken up. This drink is helping a little. I pray for myself.